Attention all the wannabe models, and exhibitionists
That networking site that you have posted those full body, sometimes scantily clad, photos of yourself is called FACEBOOK. It t is NOT called BODYBOOK. No one takes you seriously when you show us almost all of your goods for free online. It doesn't make you look chic, or smart, or popular or cool, but it does make you look desperate, a bit vain, somewhat of an approval seeker, and oh yeah LAME. So just give us a headshot, okay? Keep your shirts on, and save the bikini shots for the Craigslist's personals -where all the other lame-os congregate.

Take a good look at the couples on those commercials for eHarmony.com and Match.com -they aren't exactly the pick of the litter. Yes, yes, I know, they are "real" couples, and real people don't look like models or actors. But c'mon, they could've picked cuter couples, and not people who make love and committment look unattractive and dull. In fact the people in the "Rejected by eHarmony" commercials are looking pretty good to me.
                                                                                                  
                                                                                                        
                                                                                                  

Celebrity made simple

Occasionally the doors to celebrityville are left slightly ajar and one can slip in unnoticed and grab a piece of the fame pie. Take for example,  John Basedow. Oh yes, you know him, the bodybuilder and “fitness celebrity” from those ubiquitous and annoying commercials. He hocks workout and nutritional DVDs and claims to have a plan that makes fitness simple. He is scarily fit and muscular –so much so, that his posture is almost concave, and he is confident that you want your body to looks like his. I’m not sure if Basedow’s fitness plan actually works but he seems to have stumbled upon a great “celebrity plan”. First make a commercial or better yet an infomercial -don’t forget the testimonials, buy unlimited ad space on local cable, and count down the days until someone is blogging about you and asking, why the hell are you a celebrity? 

Remember Terence Trent D’arby? And his hits songs “Wishing Well”, “Sign Your Name”, “If You Let Me Stay”? Remember playing the tape over and over again and feeling that his album was the next best thing since Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”? Okay, maybe that was just me. But, no sooner did D’arby explode on the music scene, he disappeared into the abyss of African-American artists who don’t fit neatly into the R&B or Rap genre. Maybe he needed Clive Davis? Or maybe Prince was the only racially ambiguous, sexually charged, genre-bending, musical genius we could handle.  Whatever the case may be, Terence Trent D’arby has long emerged from that abyss and his new name is Sananda Maitreya. http://www.sanandamaitreya.com/ Peruse his website and think about what would have been if the music industry didn’t stifle genius and box in creativity.

Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas sings "my hump, my lovely lady lumps" in reference to her breasts, celebrity magazines report on the latest "baby bump" when describing pregnant celebrities , and just about everyone is guilty for calling a female's well-endowed backside "junk". 

Why is it some people feel compelled to say " I don't celebrate the dead" when asked what their plans are for Halloween? Ummm, the last time I checked, Halloween was less about dressing up like monsters, ghosts, and goblins, and more about dressing like slutty cheerleaders, nurses and ridiculous celebrities. 

Unless you actually live in a bonafide GHETTO, stop using the word